Handling Relationship issues during the lockdown
Speaker: Dr. Aastha Dhingra, Assistant professor and clinical psychologist
Facilitator: Madira Popat, Digital Entrepreneur
Compiled by: Kritik Mathur
Date: 29th April 2020
Coronavirus related anxiety and lockdown fears are real and causing some serious damage to one’s relationships, but there is no point in hiding it. One should acknowledge it. The strain that the coronavirus is putting on one’s life is immense and it is affecting most relationships in some way. It makes perfect sense to be struggling in relationships right now. We are stuck inside our homes, forced to spend more time together than ever before. We are relying on a partner for all our social support because we can’t see our friends and relatives. We are balancing new responsibilities, like working from home, childcare, and house-keeping. It’s already a lot of change, all at once. At the same time, some people feel guilty acknowledging their relationship moods, because it seems that there are much bigger issues around the world to worry about.
Being from the psychology background and having studied human emotions and psychology, Dr Aastha initially talked about the significance of relationships in our lives. Relationships teach us not only how to love, but how to get love from someone. Apart from that, what to do in life and how to live life. No matter how much we live alone, how much sense of independence and freedom we get, we always need someone with whom we can talk to and express our emotions and feelings. With relations, there comes stability through which we get to understand that there is someone out there who we can trust. Trust is in itself a feeling which comes with relations, otherwise, we won’t get to understand what it means to have trust in someone. Relationships are very important to remove solitude from our lives. Humans are social beings, and we are still called social animals. So, if we do not create that relationship with others, that tag will be taken away from us. As we are social beings and social animals, it is very important to interact and understand the emotions of other people, and this is why the value of relations increases.
Adding on to this discussion, she was asked to share her views on the key elements which form a relationship and are vital to it. She was of the opinion that trust and understanding are the 2 pillars that make a relationship. Having said that, the right time should be considered to share one’s views and opinions. Moreover, communication is very important. If one does not communicate properly with the partner, the relations may hamper to an extent. So, communication and the right time to communicate are the key elements that make or break a relationship.
Another question that popped up during the conversation was about the relationships becoming a stress point now, even though they are so valuable. To this, Dr. Aastha expressed that everyone’s fixed routines have been affected now. The lockdown came very unexpectedly. If you see something or someone for 24*7, it is natural for you to get to a saturation level where you start getting bored. A big problem with all of us is that we want spice in our lives almost every time and that virtual spice has escaped from most of our lives now, being stuck at homes.
People are facing a challenging time with compromising, due to the additional tasks with work from home, managing family time, and whatnot. Dr Aastha affirmed this fact by mentioning that there is a lack of understanding everywhere; understanding in terms of work culture and expectations. So yes, down-the-line everyone is compromising. The biggest problem is that no one is admitting that they are compromising. It’s important that one follows a time table so as to minimize the situation of compromising.
Dr Aastha beautifully linked a children’s toy with our thoughts nowadays. She annotated that just like the way a toy, whether used or not, will consume battery; in the same way, even if problems are not communicated, then there would be a negative energy flow. All those problems and the minute negative elements got multiplied and aggravated to a serious issue. So it’s very important to communicate the problem and not look at the past.
Ms. Mandira, our facilitator, presented the fact that due to social media, people are getting stressed when another person is ticking his/her goals and expectations. She asked the speaker to suggest such people what to do. She replied that what we are doing here is mere comparison. The biggest mistake that one can do is to start comparing oneself with others. One has to admit that everyone is different and so is everyone’s lives. Don’t take others’ accomplishments as a challenge, rather take it progressively.
Dr. Aastha then threw some light on the parent-child relationship and how this period can turn a boon to blossom this relationship. She said that as the children are having their online classes, so both the parents as well as the children are busy. If there is a new-born baby, it is imperative for the partners to share the responsibility of engaging with the child. What one can do is try to engage the child in some sort of creative activity to which the child gets attracted.
She then gave various tips upgrading the understanding level between the partners and even among the family members and close ones. There were many key takeaways from this session which, if implemented properly, will certainly make this lockdown merrier and mirthful.
- Coronavirus related anxiety and lockdown fears are real and causing some serious damage to one’s relationships, but there is no point in hiding it. One should acknowledge it.
- With relations, there comes stability through which we get to understand that there is someone out there who we can trust.
- As we are social beings and social animals, it is very important to interact and understand the emotions of other people, and this is why the value of relations increases.
- Communication and the right time to communicate are the key elements that make or break a relationship.
- There is a lack of understanding everywhere; understanding in terms of work culture and expectations. So, down-the-line everyone is compromising.
- One must never start comparing oneself with others. Everyone is different and so is everyone’s lives. Don’t take others’ accomplishments as a challenge, rather take it progressively.
- Parents should try to manage time with their work so as to engage their children too and enjoy with them in these times.